Christmas was great this year. As always it is fun to watch the kids open their gifts and get excited. What I have found as a father is that the excitement of the kids is far more enjoyable then opening a gift. When we grow up and become parents so much changes. When I have ah-ha parent moments I often think of my parents and in particular I think of my dad.
I was 23 years old when my father was killed in a wreck out in California, A defining moment in my life. I had never felt that kind of loss before and it was very difficult to deal with. The part that makes me the saddest is what I did not realize at the time I had lost. I lost my father and I saw him as such. What I did not realize was that I lost the opportunity to be his friend. To share my experience as a father with him. He was always my dad, the man who instructed me. We were just beginning a relationship that was not boy and man but man to man. I missed the opportunity to be his friend and companion. Yes a boy can have a friend and companion in his father but it is on a different level. When I was a boy we could not share common feelings. I had no concept of what it was like to be a dad and so there was a gap. Now I understand and wish with all my heart to go on a fishing trip and sit around a camp fire and talk with my best friend, but I can't.
I am not trying to make a sad post here just a realization what it means to have a friend in your dad. Now that I know what being a dad is all about I wish I could talk to him about being my dad. The stories he could probably tell me...! He was a great dad and I am grateful that I got him for 23 years, there are many who do not have a dad like him or as long as I had him. It makes me want to take care of myself so that I can be around with my boys as they become fathers.
5 comments:
I too often think of Bob... he was a good man and a good example to me. I remember going out to the farm for the first time. I don't think he knew what to think of me (or Amy for that matter!). But when I was willing to pull on those nasty rubber boots that were 10 sizes to big for me, and to get out there and move sprinkler pipe with you all, I think I scored some brownie points that day! A fun story I like to tell my farmer Bishop is when we were out in N.M. and you all had to go out and pick up hay bales and throw them up onto the flatbed. There wasn't enough help to have someone to drive the rig, so I got the job. I don't know who suggested it, but there I was and Frank was nervous! He told me what to do, but when it came time for a turn, he pushed me out of the drivers seat and said "let me do this so you don't tip the load." Which of course is exactly what he did! I laughed, and he was mad. Your dad (I think) said something to the effect of "Let Leslie do it next time." He let me do the turns from there on out, and I never dumped the load!
I also remember the Christmas before he died. We all got to spend alone time with him, even Cordell. We had just moved back to the States from Canada and the roads were bad so Bob offered to help Cordell drive the U-Haul to turn it in. It took them about an hour to get there and back, but Cordell got to talk to him alone for awhile. I think of that morning when my mom came and woke us up with the news.
He was a good man. You know my mom's theory about Bob (one of them)? She is certain that he is the one who taught/is teaching my grandpa Cliff the gospel. I have no doubt that this is the case!
That's a great post James. Your dad would be proud.
I miss your Dad too, a LOT!
Your dad is the reason that I have the dad that I do, and I am forever grateful. The few years I got to know him, I cherish.
I just got back from spending the last six days helping my parents get settled in Az. I love being with my dad. Among other things, Bob Stock left a powerful example of service, work, love and the importance of family. All of which I hope to instill in my own children. Anyone who knows you, knows you are a great dad- so keep up the good work!
Happy New Year James, Lisa and family!
Krislyn told me the story over Christmas break and she made it sound like your dad passed away yesterday, at first I was concerned that she seemed fine and was playing with Brooklyn, but then I figured out it happened a long time ago.
Brittany
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